Sex talking at the doc...

Carson has been complaining about his head hurting the last few day. Then he started saying his cheek hurt. His theory was that his headache had fallen down to his cheek. Then Monday, he was crying about his ears hurting. That was the sign that required a call to the Dr.

I had to the pleasure to escort both our kids to the Dr's office. It's not as bad as I make it sound. Aside from the guaranteed 1 hour wait, it's refreshing to see that my kids aren't as bad as I think they are. Since it is a pediatric care, they have a few toys to play with. After finally going back to the second waiting room I had the pleasure to now entertain my kids with no toys for another 30 minutes until the doc comes in. During this ever joyful experience, my children never fail to explore the land we call an examination table. And it never fails that Carson finds the wonderful stirrups. This is how our conversation went...

Carson: What are these Dad?

Me: They are what the Dr uses to check our...um...legs.

Carson:(climbing onto the table and placing his feet in them) Dad, check my legs.

Me: No, not like that, they are for Women.

Carson: Why

Me: (distracted by reading a book to Callie) Because of their private parts

Carson: You mean where they pee!?

(by the way, the walls are paper thin, and Carson has a hard time controlling his inside voice)

Me: Yes, it's so the Dr can check and make sure they are okay so they can have babies and other stuff.

Carson: What do you mean so they can have babies, where do they come from?

Me: (Crap) Carson, it's important that you understand this, but I don't think I want to tell you while we are sitting in the Dr's office when anyone can walk in on us and I am reading the little mermaid to Callie...

Carson: But Dad...

Me: No more...now put the stirrups away, they aren't toys...

Black Friday, How I Love/Loath thee...

My friend Jeff and I have been hanging out a lot lately. He won't admit to it, but we went to the Harry Potter Midnight showing. I'm a fan, he just loves movies and didn't have to work the next day.

We made our plans to hit up the sales on Friday. The plan was to go to Lowes and get some tools. I made the discovery that I could order my tools online the day before, not have to wait in line and just pick them up whenever I wanted to. Some of the stuff I wanted was not available so I ended up having to stand in line anyways. Our plans changed last minute when Jeff decided he wanted to go to Target, which opened at 4am.

3am...I pick up Jeff from his house
315...we pull up to Target and the line is wrapped around the store.
Jeff decides what he wanted wasn't all that important so we hit up Waffle House
330...We walk into a pretty crowded Waffle House. (should have been the first sign)
Put in our order as we notice the waitress and the cook are arguing off and on (second sign)
345...More arguing, escalating to yelling and swearing
We get our drinks(third and final sign)
More yelling, the cook finally walks out
346...Cook comes back because I guess he figured he didn't want to leave all the work to the other cook
More yelling and swearing
400...we get our food and eat in record time
Pay the bill and the entire strip club from down the street walks in (too bad I just tipped all my one dollar bills away)
415...we drive by Lowes and there is no on there so we decide to go to Target and see what we can get
450...We get everything we wanted, well Jeff did, all I wanted was tools, head to Lowes
500...get into Lowes, get all my tools, spend too much money
530...loaded up and heading home.
545...Drive by Best Buy, laugh at the idiots in line and go home to bed.
630...Home in Bed and Meagan wakes up to ask if I've left yet...silly women, I get my shopping eating and talking all done in record time, not all day long...

Good night..."daddy" well, never mind...

Giving into friend pressure...

I haven't written on this in a long long time, but giving into some pressure, I've decided to go ahead and update with a funny story from Carson.

A couple of weeks ago we had the primary program at church. His talk was about Joseph Smith and the first vision. I started teaching him the first vision but Meagan told me we had to make it a story that he could tell back to us. That is what we did and Carson mastered his story telling within a few attempts. We made him practice for a few weeks and his story did not change at all. But the funny part are the little things he added in...

"When Joseph Smith was exactly 14 years old, he didn't know which church to join. So he read the scriptures and they told him to pray and ask God. He went to the woods and prayed and two other people showed up. It was Heavenly Father and Jesus. They told him not to join any church because they didn't have enough truth. He helped restore the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Later he was called to be a Prophet."

He nailed it over the pulpit. He had all that memorized and delivered it like a champ!!! I even heard a few gasps and wows behind us. (we sit up front) It was a happy day for the Gold family because I can say without any prejudice whatsoever that his was the best! That kid cracks us up.

How many showers does it take to get a 3 year old clean...

I know it has been quite a while since I posted, but Meagan has been home for the summer, so I am not really Mr. Mom. We have been tag teaming it, and let me tell ya, it is much better than going it alone. Tonight, I have decided to share a very funny story with you that happened last night. Carson had just received his bath and was playing in his pajamas. Someone, who will remain nameless walked by and let a little toot out right above his head. He yells, Oooh! YUCK! I just took a bath, now I need another one.!!! So funny.

It's soooo Quiet....

A picture is worth a thousand words which means here are five thousand, so I don't need to say any more...




Well maybe just a little more. The top two are of this very moment, well, maybe not this very moment, but when I was writing this post. The next one of Carson is yesterday. Meagan came home to them asleep. The last two of Callie are ones that Carson took. He is becoming quite the photographer. I think we will get him one of those indestructible kid cameras for his birthday so that he will quit breaking ours.

Speaking of Target...

Last night we had to run to Target so that Meagan could get a gift card for a teacher at work who is having a baby. We decided to be quick so she went her way to look at stuff and Carson, Callie and I went ours. Carson likes those buggies that have the attachment where you can put two kids in. It is really handy when shopping for groceries because he goes there, Callie in the regular part of the buggy and the food in the big part. A place for everything and everything in it's place. When I am not doing grocery shopping, I don't like those because they are twice as long and not fun to drive. But Carson was being a good boy, so we obliged. They problem with them is that Carson cannot sit still. He has to be swinging from the bar or hanging out the side, just being MY son. I am always telling him to get back in before he hits someone or falls out. It was not very busy, but I am trying to break his bad habit. We started down the card isle, and sure enough he is hanging out the side of the buggy. There were some people coming so I told him to get back inside the cart, which he did, but immediately stuck his head back out to which I did not have time to react and he hit is head hard on a pillar in the middle of the isle. H..I..L..A..R..I..O..U..S..!!! They all started cracking up and he started to cry saying I wanna go home, dad, let's go home. So funny. Well it didn't stop him for long. As soon as I got him calmed down, he started right back doing his thing. Crazy kid!!!

Truly a scary moment...

There have been two time in my parenthood life that I have panicked. And on one of those occasions, I cried my eyes out. I know Meagan must have been scared to death because I think I am pretty good at hiding most of my emotions but on this one fateful day, all my emotion hiding would come unraveled. It was when Carson was about 4 or 5 months old. He had just started rolling around and I would make a conscious effort to wrap blankets or pillows around him if I was going to run and get something real quick. We were playing on my bed, which was pretty high up and I ran to grab something when I hear a BAM, instantly followed by wailing, lots and lots of wailing. Panic stricken I ran back into my room and Carson is obviously not on my bed. I look on the floor, and there he is laying face down, probably not freaking out as much as I was. When I picked him up, that is when I started to panic. He had landed on a tape dispenser, and it had cut him from his hair line down his nose and onto his face. I freaked because he was bleeding. It wasn't too bad, but something about seeing my baby bleed like that was traumatizing. I called Meagan, she was at work and was keeping myself in control until she got on the line. Then I broke down and she couldn't even understand what I was saying, so she naturally rushed home. Luckily it only took a few minutes. By the time she got home, he was asleep and I was on my way to being okay.

Now the second time I panicked was just the other night at Target. Carson informs me he needs to go potty and he wants me to take him. I usually cannot get him to go because when we get into the bathroom he informs me that he just wants to wait until we get home. Then runs out. This time he had to go bad enough that he actually went. We were in the stall and he finished up and then we washed our hands and were heading out when I decided I needed to go too. I told him to wait for a minute while I went, and he said Okay. So I proceeded to go and the next thing I hear is the door closing. I zipped up quickly and ran out. By the time I got out of the bathroom, he was gone. I ran back into the bathroom just to make sure he wasn't still in there, thinking to myself, he isn't that quick, but apparently he is. I ran back outside and started to panic a little. The bathrooms are right beside the doors outside and I thought to myself he would have thought that was a blast to activate the automatic doors. I ran to the closest isle and looked down it but could not see him anywhere. I ran back to the doors to look outside while I called Meagan. I remember thinking to myself please let him have run off to look for her. She answered and I asked if he was with her. She said no and I told her what happened. She started heading to the front. I peeked outside, didn't see him and said I was heading toward the toy department. The whole time terrible things going through my head. The store wasn't busy, but it really freaked me out that I didn't know which way he had ran. Eventually I found him running toward me coming from the toys. He ran up to me and said, "I'm looking for Momma." The whole time I was on the phone with Meg, so she knew that I had found him. It was a huge relief to see that little stinker running toward me. We explained to him it was not okay to run away from mom and dad even if he was looking for us, that he needs to stay with us all the time. It was not a fun time.